The Easy Vietnamese
- Nov 29, 2022

How to use Vietnamese pronouns at home, at work and with friends

Vietnamese pronouns are challenging to learn as we have multiple ways to say "I" and "you". There are pronouns that are strictly used in formal contexts, informal contexts or both. In this article, you are introduced to Vietnamese pronouns we are using in three main contexts - at home (with your family members and relatives), at work (with your bosses, colleagues and clients) and with friends (more relaxed settings).

How to use Vietnamese pronouns

It is one of the interesting things about Vietnamese that you often find that pronouns bring a warm family feeling regardless of contexts you are in.

Pronouns in Vietnamese are based on gender, age and the relationship between you and the people you are in the conversation with. If you happen to be an observer, from the pronouns used, you can also guess the position of one person to another.

Pronouns can be used in place of names and/or together with names. For instance, chú Anh (uncle Anh) or chú (uncle) can refer to a relative named Anh or a person that is in the same generation with and younger than your parents.

Vietnamese pronouns to use at home

With your family members, you can use the nouns for them as pronouns, for example, "Mẹ đang làm gì đó?" meaning "Mom, what are you doing?" or to be exact "What are mom doing?".

Depending on the regions you are situated in, you can call family members differently, for example, as for mother, mẹ is used in most cases, however its variations as mạ or má can also be found. I often find that the pronouns for members and relatives vary family by family. For instance, I do not call my sisters by their names but their assigned numbers whereas my friend does call her sister with name.

Numbers assigned to family members

As if they are not difficult enough? You are correct, we are coming to a complex part of Vietnamese, which is slightly different than the cardinal and ordinal numbers.

While I could not say this is used broadly in Vietnam due to the region and family difference, numbers assigned to family members are seen very commonly in at least where I come from. Numbers are based on the order of births within the family.

The rules are simple:

Your oldest sister will be called chị cả (used by northerners) or chị hai (elsewhere in Vietnam).
Your second oldest sister will be called chị hai (used by northerners) or chị ba (elsewhere in Vietnam).
Your third oldest sister will be called chị ba (used by northerners) or chị tư/bốn (elsewhere in Vietnam).
If you have more than three sisters, please look up the numbers here.

The same rules apply for brothers and other cases within the family.

In your family

It is important to learn that in many Vietnamese families, we still live with grandma and grandpa under one roof. In my case, I grew up with my grandma as my parents worked very far away and grandma has taken a good care of me on my parents' behalf.

I would suggest you learn the text-based words first then scroll down to use the supported graph for a better understanding.

Ông/bà, anh/chị are common pronouns and you will get to use them very often in other contexts. Remember ông, anh are for male, while bà, chị are for female.

In English	How you call the opposite person	How you address yourself	Notes
Mother	Common: mẹ, má Variations: u, mạ, mệ	Con (meaning child)	I personally use mẹ at home with my Mom, while my Dad who is from central Vietnam calls my grandma má.
Father	Common: bố, ba, cha Variations: tía, thầy	Con (meaning child)	I personally use ba at home with my Dad, while my Mom calls my grandpa cha and my friend from the northern Vietnam calls her Dad bố.
Grandma/grandpa from Mom's side	bà ngoại/ông ngoại	Cháu (meaning grandchild) *Con also works	Bà or ông are the base pronouns. You will need to add ngoại (Mom's side) or nội (Dad's side) accordingly.
Grandma/grandpa from Dad's side	bà nội/ông nội	Cháu (meaning grandchild) *Con also works	Bà or ông are the base pronouns. You will need to add ngoại (Mom's side) or nội (Dad's side) accordingly.
Older sister	chị	em	If you have more than one sister, you can call them either "chị [their name]" or "chị [their number]" (see more below).
Younger sister	em	chị if you are a female anh if you are a male	If you have more than one younger sister, you can call them by "em [their name]" or only with their name.
Older brother	anh	em	If you have more than one brother, you can call them either "anh [their name]" or "anh [their number]" (see more below).
Younger brother	em	chị if you are a female anh if you are a male	If you have more than one younger brother, you can call them by "em [their name]" or only with their name.

What if your siblings get married?

Well, you will firstly have brothers- and sisters-in-law, and mostly likely have nieces and nephews.

In English	How you call the opposite person	How you address yourself	Notes
Brother-in-law of your older sister	anh [the number that your sister has] anh [his name]	em	Personally I use the first option for my brother-in-law (because my sister does not allow me use the second one :D).
Brother-in-law of your younger sister	em [his name] or just his name	chị if you are a female anh if you are a male
Sister-in-law of your older brother	chị [the number that your brother has] chị [her name]	em	Personally I prefer to use the first option as it would sound closer and more involving.
Sister-in-law of your younger brother	em [her name] or just her name	chị if you are a female anh if you are a male
Nieces/nephews of your older siblings	their names	dì (meaning aunt) if you are a female dì [your number] or dì [your name] cậu (meaning uncle) if you are a male cậu [your number] or cậu [your name]	This comes a little bit more complicated. I would say you learn as you practice. I myself still make mistakes. Recommend to check this with your family as it can vary family by family.
Nieces/nephews of your younger siblings	their names	dì if you are a female from their Mom's side, and cô if you are female from their Dad's side dì/cô [your number] or dì/cô [your name] cậu if you are a male from their Mom's side, and bác if you are from their Dad's side cậu/bác [your number] or cậu/bác [your name]	More complicated than the previous one but you will nail it!

In your extended family

Now comes a bit more complicated level of family, but no worry there will be a supported graph to help you understand better. It is important to know that the following pronouns may be varied family by family and region by region.

Regardless of ages, your cousins are considered based on the position of your parent to their parent. For instance, if your uncle is younger than your dad, his children will consider you older than them in pronouns. You will end up having many em (little sister/brother) that are in fact older than you.

In English	How you call the opposite person	How you address yourself
Aunt sisters of your Mom	dì [the number that your aunt has] dì [her name]	cháu, con
Aunt sisters of your Dad	cô [the number that your aunt has] cô [her name]	cháu, con
Uncle-in-law husbands to your aunts (both parents' sides)	dượng [the number that your aunt has] dượng [her name]	cháu, con
Children of your aunt who is older than your parent both parents' sides	anh/chị [the number that he/she has] anh/chị [his/her name]	em
Children of your aunt who is younger than your parent both parents' sides	their names	anh/chị

Uncle brothers of your Mom	cậu [the number that your uncle has] cậu [his name]	cháu, con
Aunt-in-law wives to your uncles (Mom's side)	mợ [the number that your uncle has] mợ [his name]	cháu, con
Uncle brothers of your Dad	bác [the number that your uncle has/his name] - if he is older than your Dad chú [the number that your uncle has/his name] - if he is younger than your Dad	cháu, con
Aunt-in-law wives to your uncles (Dad's side)	bác [the number that your uncle has/her name] - if uncle is older than your Dad thím [the number that your uncle has/her name] - if uncle is younger than your Dad	cháu, con
Children of your uncle who is older than your parent both parents' sides	anh/chị [the number that he/she has] anh/chị [his/her name]	em
Children of your uncle who is younger than your parent both parents' sides	their names	anh/chị

Family pronouns with graph

When I was young and not familiar with the pronouns yet, especially with pronouns for uncles-in-law and aunts-in-law, I usually find it useful to draw the relationships on paper. I would recommend you to do the same, which I believe you will eventually learn the logic behind pronouns.